peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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