i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
how drunk are you?
Several
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
