So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
