doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
