Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
