when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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