i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
