He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
