if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
