i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
