the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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