Kareoke will never be a sober sport
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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