I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
