I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
