Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
