lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
