Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
