Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
