He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
