We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
