I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
