After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
