Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
