omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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