btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
kristin has been a bad kristin
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
