I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
