At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
