If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
