We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
