I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
