yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
