I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
