dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
