There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
