I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
