found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
