he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
