matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
