He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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