You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
