Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
