I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
