My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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