I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
