How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
