Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
