I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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