Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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