i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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