What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
