Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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