Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
